The Humor, Heart & Honesty of Asking for What You Need; A Talk with Paul Quinn

CLEVELAND, Ohio — Paul Quinn, a former corporate trainer, actor, and presentation coach, has emerged as an author and public speaker dedicated to helping others overcome fear and self-doubt through what he calls the “Big Ask.” His new book, The Big Ask: Unlock the Possibilities in Your Work, Life, and Dreams with Courageous Requests, released in July 2025, explores how simple yet profound requests can initiate transformation in both personal and professional lives.

Drawing on insights from interviews with more than 80 individuals, including celebrities, CEOs, and everyday people, Quinn examines the psychological and emotional barriers that prevent people from asking for what they truly want. He focuses on how upbringing, societal expectations, and internalized fear often stop individuals from pursuing honest communication and self-fulfillment.

Quinn defines an “aha moment” as a sudden awareness of an unconscious habit or behavior, often leading to a sense of liberation. He explains that while these moments can arise unexpectedly, they become transformative only when followed by intentional action. “The aha does not mean that there's sudden change. It means there's sudden awareness, but that change still is up to us to act on or not,” Quinn said during the podcast.

In his view, the capacity to ask (whether for truth, help, clarity, forgiveness, or opportunity) represents an often-overlooked tool for growth. Quinn notes that fear of rejection, cultural conditioning, and lack of self-permission are common reasons people withhold their desires. “Permission really begins with self-permission,” he said. “If you're not willing to ask for peanuts, what will you ask for?”

Quinn also recounts a personal turning point that inspired the book. After witnessing a couple directly ask homeowners if they were willing to sell their house, a question that surprisingly resulted in a sale, he began to reflect on the untapped potential in simple, direct asks. That experience, he said, triggered a deep interest in the social, emotional, and interpersonal dynamics of requesting.

His book also delves into emotional asks that are more difficult, such as asking for emotional support or long-awaited truths from loved ones. He emphasizes that asking for the truth can be the most difficult request of all, describing it as “a point of no return” that can either liberate or devastate. A story from his book features a woman who, after decades of silence, asked her estranged brother why he disappeared from the family. The truth he revealed altered her understanding of her family's past forever.

Quinn warns that the fear of confrontation often keeps people from asking for their needs to be met, which can result in long-term emotional consequences. “If I think that by asking for what I want at work or home is going to trigger somebody, I might back off from that ask. And I might do that at my own peril,” he said.

He draws a clear distinction between respectful requests and demands, noting that while demands may be necessary when rights are violated, many of life’s important conversations begin with a well-phrased, respectful ask.

The Big Ask is available in digital and paperback formats through Amazon and other booksellers. More information about Paul Quinn, his blog, and his work can be found at bigaskbook.com, or through his social media pages on Facebook and LinkedIn.

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